A Spiritual Journey — 6 of Swords
WHY TAROT?
Why the fuck not?
Firstly, let me explain… I am a rose-tinted glasses kinda gal, but also I know when to take the fuckers off when I need some perspective. I’m the most level-headed free spirit I know.
Now, when I am using shouty capitals to grab your attention, I mean to do it in a way that you’ll go… Oooh she’s got something to say!
Because I know some of my peeps are still scratching their heads and asking why.
Why did I choose such a “wishy-washy” way to coach?
Well… The metaphysical has always been part of my life.
I used to live in two worlds, often this rarely-mouthy teenager during Religious Studies would stand up and argue the toss with her long-suffering teacher about why they didn’t include Paganism in this class, and how bloody unfair that was.
I wouldn’t dare talk to half of my friends about it. Only the inner circle, and even then it was a stretch.
It wasn’t until I went to college where I started to blossom (read: exploded) into the extrovert I knew I was, did I go all-in on the esoteric.
I went to our local witchy shop Harvest Moon, and picked up book upon book, a pack of tarot cards and guidebook, and all the psychedelic tapestries my little 1999’s heart could carry.
Of course I was spurred on by The Craft and Practical Magic.
However, I delved into this world with an open mind and heart, and loved it.
I gave readings to my friends, read for myself.
I didn’t trust my intuition then — because I didn’t trust myself. I had zero self-esteem or self-assurance.
I spent my days in an extrovert mask while sobbing into my pillow at night. (Yep, the original drama queen here. What? I’m a Leo sun with Pisces moon! Sue me!)
I dabbled.
For a long-ass time.
Then I lost my Dad. My common sense rock. The sci-fi nerd who once wanted to live the Romani life. My terror on 2 wheels (circus Wheel of Death rider.)
I abandoned all metaphysical practices, because I was grieving and I was angry. Angry that I couldn’t help his pain. That I couldn’t cure him. That he chose to slip away without us there and he was on his own. Still not making a fuss about things, right until the end. Little shit.
So I boxed it all up, along with my grief. Put it on a shelf, never to look in again, only occasionally, but it was still too painful to look at.
More family and friends taken away too soon.
More pain added to that box.
And so on. For over a decade.
I still had my eye on the spiritual, but my heart was never truly engaged.
Did you know that your heart holds memories, just like your brain?
My heart had had enough time to steel myself to open the box back up.
After being unceremoniously upended back to the UK mid-trip-of-a-lifetime, I then found myself at a crossroads.
It was time.
I wanted to reconnect with my heart, I just wasn’t sure how to do it.
Then came 3 separate people that helped me to do just that.
Reconnect and soothe the inner impostor.
Reconnect and expand my awareness.
Reconnect and align my chakras.
All of this created a new pathway in my future.
I felt a gap. There was something I needed to help me take steps onto this new pathway, and this is where Tarot came back into my life.
It felt right. I trusted my intuition as I grew more confident with the cards.
I felt at home with them.
It’s not all “woo”- the cards show me the practical guidance that people often need.
It’s my intuition and self-assurance in that that brings the “woo” out.
This is just the beginning of my Spiritual Journey.
I have made and lost friends on this Journey. I have left baggage behind I didn’t need any more, I have carried with me more I continue to work on.
Self-development is a journey. And there is no real destination. It is all about the journey and enjoying it along the way.